The Origin Of The Specious

 

Oh I'm a Neanderthal person
Where I had a stone, you had flint
I'm the sow's ear you hung your silk purse on
You minted coins, I was skint

I munched on mammoth for dinner
You flogged its tusks to the East
When I thought my log sledge was a winner
You were out ski-ing off-piste

I grunted once for attention
Or twice for a fresh field of herbs
But your tribe knew of nouns and declension
And recited irregular verbs

Yes, I was short, squat and hairy
You were slim, lithe, invented the plough
Then you wiped me from pasture and prairie
So who's the barbarian now?

 

[July 1997]

From Labour Pangs

The Origin Of The Specious

Geneticists claimed to prove that we were descended only from homo sapiens, and that Neanderthals, who vanished 30,000 years ago, never bred with our ancestors