The Ones That Got Away

If Group 4 sold physical fitness,
We'd all get away in good shape;
If Group 4 took care
Of the Maastricht Affair,
We'd all have a lucky escape.

If Group 4 took care of the dying,
We'd all have a speedy release;
Should ever Group 4
Take over the law,
We'd probably miss the police.
   
If Group 4 had charge of the churches,
The synod would split to thin air;
Were Group 4 invited
To run Man. United,
We'd not have a winger or prayer.

If Group 4 ran nuclear power,
We'd soon be informed of the leaks;
If the calendar year
Was Group 4's to keep clear,
We'd probably lose several weeks.

If Group 4 was running the railway,
We'd all get away on the dot;
If Group 4 resolved
We'd not be devolved,
The Welsh would be Scot-free, the lot.

And if Group 4 wrote blue manifestoes,
If Group 4 could manage a pen,
Then voters would - hey!
So that is how they
Got away with election again.

From the book Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

Group 4 security lost a lot of prisoners when they won the contract to look after the security of prisoners between gaols.