Coochi-coochi


By the supermarket trollee,
In an eezi-fold-up buggee,
Underneath a quilto-kumfi
Lay the sacred infant dribbling,
And he spoke the tongue of tinies,
Sang the tongue of Not-Yet-Toddler,
'Oba-gurgle, oogle-oo-goo,
Bubba-bubba, mummee-wah-whah,
Urkle-gobba, plugga-wagga,
Blubbli-obblah!' wailed the infant
Till his mummee, Mrs Buncer,
Plugged his cakehole with a dummee,
Dummee dipped in maple syrup,
As approached a gushing grannee.
Grannee exited from Tesco,
From the quik-food in the freezer,
Looked into the fold-up buggee,
Whispered 'Coochi-mudjekeewis,
Husa-booti fula-babba,
Izzaneetha spitta-dadda,'
Called him 'Coochi-mudjekeewis,'
Even though his name was Jason
(Full name Jason Kristin Buncer),
He who plucked away his dummee,
Blew the sacred wind upon her,
Sicked upon the avocado
In the Tesco bag of grannee.


From the book Send-Up

(with apologies to Longfellow)