The Mission Statement Poems

Mission Statement

Our mission is the corporate
corpse of intention,
mounted and framed to
persuade the honest onlooker
that these are slogans,
targets, markets and multisyllabic oaths
to which we adhere like
barnacles dipped in Prittstick.

I was passing the video shop,
and nipped in to check
on its mission statement.
Which was,
to bring you good videos. This
was screwed to the wall.
True as the truth.

When I left the premises,
why was I clutching
Police Academy 6?

Omission statement

O mission statement!
O vocative, evocative
of sunny fundamentals!

Someone had nicked this one.


Emission statement

Wind.
Gas.
The mass
flatulence of the word.


Mission statement impossible

This poem will self-destruct in
ten syll

From the book Send-Up