Split Infinitives


To soon bolt their brekkers, the talented Trekkers
Prefer to quite frankly eschew
The three Shredded Wheat which to properly eat
Takes a Stardate to properly chew;
They are apt (unless stopped) to decisively opt
For, perpetually pick Porage Oats -
For to hard work is dotty, claims Beam-me-up Scotty,
If not eating to up warm their throats.

To successfully fly starships out past the sky
Or to swiftly reach Warp Factor Five,
Just persuade Mr. Sulu, who isn't a fool, to
Alertly respond to the drive
To dramatically squeeze all the Captain's logged teas,
Suppers, dinners; to definitely dock
Any time Starcrews waste to full fork every face -
It's illogical (ask Mr. Spock).

The Klingons, to cruelly vanquish Kirk's crew,
Starve themselves to forever maintain
A faint chance to successfully, wholly depress
The Enterprise culture. Insane?
Well, Uhura is prone to regularly groan
That if Bones is to medically test
How to finally beat any alien fleet,
It's the food that's to boldly go west.

From the book Send-Up

Split infinitives are now deemed permissible