Vanity of vanities
I wear my hair like Billy Fury,
Look a perfect cockatoo.
This leather shrieks. I am as sleek
As a priceless vial of shampoo.
Flawless aura, brilliant spectrum.
Honey, better mind my plectrum.
Ecclesiastes speaks to me,
Half-ravished by my lavish look.
Shakes his Bible, when I eyeball
Every handmaid in the book.
Kneel and offer me surrender.
Keep your pinch-paws off my Fender.
Every week I check the numbers,
Count the bounty in the dish.
Black-and-white, I smell of night,
Flip my hips and howl. You wish.
I learned my lessons from the Latins.
Excuse me now: it's time for matins.