Robot Wars

Iím a handy android. I am made
of mowers, false alarms, and the spin
cycles and tumblers in your kitchen
cabinet. Hello Anji.

I was created from a vacuum,
from the spare parts of a pop-up
toaster. Here I am! Iíve been at
your waste disposal.

Hello Anji. I am a fan,
a fax, a bit of a strimmer, a seedy
player, the mouthpiece of your
disconnected phone.

I can cook things up. Hello
Anji. Iím a flange, just what the
totter ordered. This is scrap.
1-2-3. Activate.

† † †

[July 2000]

From the book Make Mine a Double

Replicas of the junk-built opponents in the TV series Robot Wars are to be sold as Christmas toys. A TV documentary inside 10 Downing Street received mixed reviews.