I am to be vamped.

Between the flobalobs and the flimflam,
I will preside, a garden tsarina, a dimmock
in the spaces between the spades.

Bill will not empty his toolshed.
Ben is passing the paraquat
and banging nails in an empty trellis.

I will therefore resume
direct rule. I will round up Ground Force
and attend to the borders myself.

The gardener will wear an old ulster,
and tend the timeclock, the skullcap,
the bittersweet, the touch-me-not,
the false oxlip, the stinking iris,
the farewell-to-spring.

And the hurt.



[February 2000]

From Make Mine a Double


'We have made her into a wise character who has quite a lot to say and is able to express herself clearly.' - TV producer Frank Vose on Weed's status in the new Bill And Ben. Weed will apparently solve all their problems.