Kenbo Baggins


I have plenty of bland gamgee
under my broad belt. I wish to make
an ANNOUNCEMENT: we need to breed
a brand new party for Middle Earth.
Here is my pipeweed. Here is my beer
and also brandywine. I am red-cheeked,
bright-eyed, and appeal to the shires.
There are leathery soles beneath my big
boots, and I eat six meals a day. I told
Lady Gandalf to go. If we wish to defeat
the Orcs of New Mordor, then we need
a new ring of confidence. My precious.
I am a filthy hobbit, with mingus fingers.
There’s bebop at Bag End, and rockets.
And what have I got in my pockets?

       


[July 2001]

From the book Make Mine A Double

First extracts from the film “The Lord Of The Rings” were released. Ken Clarke’s campaign to be Tory leader took up more column inches.