The Next Time

Some say I'll win again some day,
A blue bouquet will come my way
The Ne-ext Time,
But after this there'll never be A Next Time for me.

They put it round inside the press
I'll win a hundred seats or less
The Next Time -
While Labour's Livin' Doll
In coats of Ambre Sol.
Will make me mere psephology....

They say I'll just be counting sheep
Once someone's plunged the dagger deep
The Ne-ext Time,
That Heseltine will lead the party
Broken in three -

So-o-o how can I win again
The Next Time,
When they're all so out of touch
With someone like me.

(Repeat last verse in a higher key, viz. A Flat Major)

Also available: Gummer Holiday
The Day I Met Margaret
Expresso Johngo
Exasperations (and imprecations)
Power To All Our Enemies
It's All Over etc. etc.
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From the book Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

Only a week after Cliff Richard was knighted, and Tony Blair's 'serious' waxwork model was unveiled at Madame Tussaud's, John Major resigned the leadership of the Conservative Party. His hopes of winning the authority he wanted in the election to follow were already starting to look slim.
(to be sung by John Major in a string vest by a Necropolis)