No Contest (a red-blooded rant)

 

I want Brigitte Bardot to be Leader of The Labour Party.
She's as witty as Wittgenstein, and as cool as Erik Satie.
It doesn't matter how she looks, she's as sharp as karate.
I want Brigitte Bardot to be Leader of The Labour Party.

I want to vote for Brigitte Bardot in the ballot.
She is the taste on the contemporary political palate.
She's as clean as a company car after a very protracted valet.
I want to vote for Brigitte Bardot in the ballot.

Brigitte Bardot should be the one to get The Labour Party Xs.
She has amazing ideas about how poverty probably affects us.
She stands up for equality between all of the sexes.
Brigitte Bardot should be the one to get The Labour Party Xs.

If Brigitte Bardot were leader, it would be to everyone's liking.
She has unions behind her, she knows about motorbiking.
Has the strength of a Valkyrie and the pull of a Viking.
If Brigitte Bardot were leader, it would be to everyone's liking.

Yes, The Party would profit with Brigitte, who is a pin-up.
The country would go round with its stiff upper chin up.
The polls show she knows which ladders of power to shin up.
Yes, The Party would profit with Brigitte, who is a pin-up.

I'm banking on Brigitte Bardot, she could lead the nation.
She is all for small animals and also for their liberation.
She could deal with the far right without fear of hesitation.
I'm banking on Brigitte Bardot, she could lead the nation.

Because looks aren't everything, therefore we should vote for Brigitte Bardot.
She has the genius to lead us out of Major's Hell Dorado.
Has the heart of Keir Hardie, the passion of Doctor Barnardo.
Because looks aren't everything, therefore we should
          VOTE FOR BRIGITTE BARDOT.

From the book Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

There were complaints that the Labour Party leadership election was a beauty contest.