John Major

Whose pet poodles lost their perm?
Who made blue-rinse aunties squirm?
Whose reports read End Of Term?
- John Major.

Which P.M.'s late afternoon?
Who eats sleaze at a greasy spoon?
Whose plum council is a prune?
- John Major.

John Major said it was not he
Who massacred his infantry.
John Major's out to lunch and tea.
John Major's dotty!

Who's marooned on an Isle of Muck?
Whose Electrolux won't suck?
Who's been out for a plastic duck?
- John Major.

Whose ballon is custard-filled?
Whose kebabs are over-grilled?
Whose last trump has just been trilled?
- John Major.

Whose right kneejerk's gone berserk?
Who's kept millions out of work?
Who's Dunromin at Dunkirk?
- John Major.

I know he looks as pure as pure
Although he's standing in manure.
He always claims that he'll endure
- But you know who's been scheming against him", doncha?

Whose tin hat has got fatigue?
Who put the blitz in the council krieg?
Who'll soon leave the Premier League?
- John Major.

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From the book Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

(to the tune of Terry Scott's 'My Brother')


The Conservatives lost 2000 council seats, and now hold
fewer than the Liberal Democrats. John Major responded
"We will do what the British nation has done all through
its history when it had its back to the wall...turn round
and fight for the things it believes in."