Harold Be Our Name


My name is Harold Major;
Was bred on humble pie,
A perfect prole,
A simple soul -
A small beer, by and by.

Good afternoon, dear colleagues,
My name is Harold Blair:
My techno bleat
Is sheer white heat.
They call me Captain Dare.

My name is Harold Ashdown,
Inscrutable and smart:
My quick retorts
Aren't idle thoughts.
I've learned them off by heart.

My name is Harold Clinton.
I shag but don't inhale.
It's in my head
That I might tread
On Harold Yeltsin's tail.

My name is Harold Chirac,
Both rogue and renegade -
Like Harold Gaulle
And Harold Kohl,
Chameleons by trade.

Oh we are all called Harold,
Behind each other's backs
We open throats
To swallow votes
When we reverse our macs.

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From the book Tony Blair reminds me of a budgie

As Michael White of 'The Guardian' spotted, "every speaker to remember Harold Wilson seemed to identify him with some aspect of their own career or personality."